Have you ever had a chance encounter with someone out of your league but still had to introduce yourself? If you got the cutest guy at the coffee shop, you’d give him your number, right? Well, forget it. Today’s dating rules are a little more complicated—if you want to get the guy or girl you’re interested in, you need to put yourself out there. What does “putting yourself out there” mean? It means displaying your best self to this person, no matter how weird or inappropriate it might be. We’re talking about being confident, but not in the “I’m fine and I’m not going to screw up my life” way, but rather in the “I’m super confident and I’m totally going to do whatever I want” way. If you’re not like that, then dating can be frustrating—and that’s if it’s successful at all! But it’s never been easier to meet people and to get noticed. So let’s get started.
Step One: Be Naturally Creative
Not into superheroes and gangsters or anime characters? If you’re not so into the idea of going on a date with a guy named General Ross or a girl named Queen Cobra, start thinking of dating as a puzzle. Consider yourself a “collector”—someone who goes on dates with people they are either intrigued or attracted to. Think about the person you are going on a date with as an imaginary creature, and you’ll notice that you’re curious about them. If you try to make the date totally about yourself, you’ll have zero interest in what they are saying. Everyone is an interesting person, and you are there to learn about them. If you try to learn about them, you’ll find out a lot about yourself.
Step Two: Date Your Own Best Self
Ready to settle down after years of bachelorhood? Do you have a laundry list of things you’ve been saving up to tell this guy or girl? Of course you do. Start telling them about yourself. It’s easy to get nervous and do something awkward, but it’s much harder to turn nervousness into enthusiasm. When you say, “Oh, by the way, I’m in PR,” you don’t really want to tell them about your work; it’s lame. But tell them about yourself in a way that excites you. Think about what it will be like to be in the company of this person. Imagine that they are going to like you, and you’ll like them. http://www.girls-russia.org/articles/top-reasons-to-hook-up-in-ukraine-hot-kyiv-girls-vs-russian
Dating is a good opportunity to meet new people and maybe even set up an awesome long-term relationship. But because of the way dating is structured in America, it can also be a little bit of an uphill battle. You can choose between the process of sending a long string of strangers your information and the statistically insignificant chance of meeting someone who is compatible with you, or you can put your best foot forward, get out there, and talk to new people, the way the rest of the world does.
And maybe you don’t want a relationship. Maybe you’re asexual or just don’t want to deal with all the pressure that comes with being in one. While it can be scary, dating is still a fun way to try out different types of relationships with people who are different from you. You might even meet your future lover.
Step 1: Set a goal
Before you jump into the dating pool, it’s important to have a goal in mind. Are you looking for a fun night out on the town, or do you have more serious romantic goals like the hope of meeting your perfect match? Set your goals in stone to keep you on track during dating season.
Although it’s not a requirement, having a goal to be the happiest, healthiest person you can be in the long term can help you get out there and meet people. But don’t make a goal of being physically fit, losing weight, and keeping your teeth clean—that’s incredibly ambitious, which will make you feel worse when you don’t meet those goals. Instead, set a goal like being fit, happy, and healthy—and maybe even having sex once a week. While this goal probably isn’t going to help you meet that special someone on New Years’ Eve, it might prove to be a goal that you can meet later in life, or even once you’re single again.
Ideally, you want to be confident in yourself and have an idea of what you’re looking for in a partner. The key is just starting your dating process—whatever your goal, whether it’s flirting with someone or finding a long-term partner, dating can be intimidating even if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Get used to rejection.
Just as it’s normal to be rejected in the dating world, you can also have to accept being rejected by potential partners. Even if you pick up that special someone you’re not necessarily going to get along with everyone. This is going to